Loss and grief: support for children and teenagers
By Nicole Crawley, MS | September 29, 2023
Losing a loved one is hard enough when you’re adult and understand more about life and its inevitable conclusion. But death and loss can be a mysterious and confusing process for children and teenagers. Here is a list of resources to help caregivers provide support to children and teenagers navigating grief and loss.
Books:
The Invisible String – Book by Patrice Karst
- The Invisible String is a captivating story in which the mother shares with her children how they are connected to others even when they are apart with an “invisible string.”
- The Invisible String is most valuable to children between ages 4-10
- This resource can be appropriate for all grief and bereavement situations. It is a great resource for children coping with any kind of separation, whether that be temporary, in their daily lives, or the experience of the death of a loved one.
- The Invisible String can be utilized in the child life world when working with families, but more specifically, siblings. The book teaches children how a person can always feel connected to a loved one who has passed. While dealing with sibling grief, this book can be utilized to teach children how they can always be connected to their siblings.
- The activity that can be used when utilizing this resource would be using a string to visibly understand what the book is trying to interpret. The string could be attached to a picture of the sibling or family member lost.
Weird is Normal When Teenagers Grieve – Book by Jenny Lee Wheeler
- This book was written by a teenager who grieved her father’s passing at the age of 14. The author, Jenny, reassures those going through this situation that each teenager grieves differently for as long as they need to (Wheeler, 2010).
- This resource would be used to help children ages 12-17.
- The book would be the best resource for children dealing with the loss of a parent.
Coco – Pixar movie
- Coco is a movie that embodies Mexican culture when highlighting the day of the dead. It creates a platform for parents to use when talking to their children about death, grief, and coping.
- The movie can be used as a source for ages 7-11 years old, because these children have a basic understanding of death. This creates a platform for them to want to ask questions (CHOC, n.d.).
- This resource can be specifically geared toward children that are learning about dementia, the loss of a grandparent, and other close family members. However, it can be used as a universal resource for the coping of death.
- Since the movie highlights the death of many family members, it can be used to teach about how many people might (and will) pass throughout their lives. Mexican culture very clearly embraces death as a natural part of life, as indicated by its festival to reconnect with deceased loved ones.
- If the family is Mexican, the incorporation of the ‘hacienda,’ which is the table that holds photos and memories of the lost family members, could be implemented to cope. Any family, even outside the culture, might be willing to do this activity or even just a similar activity that incorporates photos.
Find a Local Support Group
- Support groups can bring people together to talk about memories, which can often be used to reminisce on joy. The activities could include asking the participating children to bring old photos of their loved one who passed, watch videos, create memory books, and more. The activities can be used for the passing of any loved one.
Memory Bracelets Activity
- A memory bracelet can be made to reminisce on the deceased person’s favorite things and the memories between the children and that person.
- This activity would work best for children ages 7-12. However, this can really be for any age!
- The memory bracelet activity would work for any type of grief or bereavement setting a child is going through. It does not necessarily have to include the passing of someone.
Instructions for a memory bracelet:
- Place a bead on a bracelet to represent your loved one’s favorite color.
- Place a bead that represents the month they were born in.
- Place a bead to represent their favorite sports team or hobby.
- Place a bead to represent their favorite holiday.
- Place a bead to best represent their personality.
- Place a bead that represents their favorite season.
- Place a bead that makes you think of the happiest memory you had with your loved one.
- Place a bead that represents your love for them.
- Optional: add letter beads with their initials or nickname.
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Losing a loved one is hard enough when you’re adult and understand more about life and its inevitable conclusion. But death and loss can be a mysterious and confusing process for children and teenagers. Here is a list of resources to help caregivers provide support to children and teenagers navigating grief and loss.
Books:
The Invisible String – Book by Patrice Karst
- The Invisible String is a captivating story in which the mother shares with her children how they are connected to others even when they are apart with an “invisible string.”
- The Invisible String is most valuable to children between ages 4-10
- This resource can be appropriate for all grief and bereavement situations. It is a great resource for children coping with any kind of separation, whether that be temporary, in their daily lives, or the experience of the death of a loved one.
- The Invisible String can be utilized in the child life world when working with families, but more specifically, siblings. The book teaches children how a person can always feel connected to a loved one who has passed. While dealing with sibling grief, this book can be utilized to teach children how they can always be connected to their siblings.
- The activity that can be used when utilizing this resource would be using a string to visibly understand what the book is trying to interpret. The string could be attached to a picture of the sibling or family member lost.
Weird is Normal When Teenagers Grieve – Book by Jenny Lee Wheeler
- This book was written by a teenager who grieved her father’s passing at the age of 14. The author, Jenny, reassures those going through this situation that each teenager grieves differently for as long as they need to (Wheeler, 2010).
- This resource would be used to help children ages 12-17.
- The book would be the best resource for children dealing with the loss of a parent.
Coco – Pixar movie
- Coco is a movie that embodies Mexican culture when highlighting the day of the dead. It creates a platform for parents to use when talking to their children about death, grief, and coping.
- The movie can be used as a source for ages 7-11 years old, because these children have a basic understanding of death. This creates a platform for them to want to ask questions (CHOC, n.d.).
- This resource can be specifically geared toward children that are learning about dementia, the loss of a grandparent, and other close family members. However, it can be used as a universal resource for the coping of death.
- Since the movie highlights the death of many family members, it can be used to teach about how many people might (and will) pass throughout their lives. Mexican culture very clearly embraces death as a natural part of life, as indicated by its festival to reconnect with deceased loved ones.
- If the family is Mexican, the incorporation of the ‘hacienda,’ which is the table that holds photos and memories of the lost family members, could be implemented to cope. Any family, even outside the culture, might be willing to do this activity or even just a similar activity that incorporates photos.
Find a Local Support Group
- Support groups can bring people together to talk about memories, which can often be used to reminisce on joy. The activities could include asking the participating children to bring old photos of their loved one who passed, watch videos, create memory books, and more. The activities can be used for the passing of any loved one.
Memory Bracelets Activity
- A memory bracelet can be made to reminisce on the deceased person’s favorite things and the memories between the children and that person.
- This activity would work best for children ages 7-12. However, this can really be for any age!
- The memory bracelet activity would work for any type of grief or bereavement setting a child is going through. It does not necessarily have to include the passing of someone.
Instructions for a memory bracelet:
- Place a bead on a bracelet to represent your loved one’s favorite color.
- Place a bead that represents the month they were born in.
- Place a bead to represent their favorite sports team or hobby.
- Place a bead to represent their favorite holiday.
- Place a bead to best represent their personality.
- Place a bead that represents their favorite season.
- Place a bead that makes you think of the happiest memory you had with your loved one.
- Place a bead that represents your love for them.
- Optional: add letter beads with their initials or nickname.
Recommended Reads
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References
CHOC. (n.d.) Grief and bereavement education and support. https://www.choc.org/programs-services/child-life/grief-bereavement-education-support/
Karst, P. (2000). The Invisible String. Little, Brown Books for Young Readers.
McIntre, K. (n.d.). Memory Bracelets. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/AfbQKhe9lITWF_K0ZR61_CcyYU1_P2Nw50E8cKiv167PT5ImQaz1Uwc/
Wheeler, J. L. (2010). Weird is normal: When teenagers grieve. Naples, FL: Quality of Life Pub.
References
CHOC. (n.d.) Grief and bereavement education and support. https://www.choc.org/programs-services/child-life/grief-bereavement-education-support/
Karst, P. (2000). The Invisible String. Little, Brown Books for Young Readers.
McIntre, K. (n.d.). Memory Bracelets. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/AfbQKhe9 lITWF_K0ZR61_CcyYU1_P2Nw50E8cKiv1 67PT5 ImQaz1Uwc/
Wheeler, J. L. (2010). Weird is normal: When teenagers grieve. Naples, FL: Quality of Life Pub.
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